We hear what we listen for.
Two men were walking along a crowded sidewalk in a downtown business area. Suddenly one exclaimed: “Listen to the lovely sound of that cricket.”
But the other could not hear it. He asked his companion how he could detect the sound of a cricket amid the din of people and traffic. The first man, who was a zoologist, had trained himself to listen to the voices of nature. But he didn’t explain. He simply took a coin out of his pocket and dropped it to the sidewalk, whereupon a dozen people began to look about them. “We hear,” he said, “what we listen for.”
This story, attributed to Dr. Kermit Long, illustrates a weakness that can limit our effectiveness and create artificial “boxes” that keep us thinking and acting in the same old ways. If we train ourselves not to hear certain inputs, such as negative feedback, constructive criticism, or ideas that seem threatening, we will eventually become completely deaf to them by choice. We will consequently lose many opportunities for personal growth and professional progress.
As leaders, what do we listen for? Have we trained ourselves to really listen to our people? Or do we only tune in to the messages we want to hear? Do we listen to what is important to them, or only to messages we think are important to us?
Listening is hard work, but it is the easiest way to let someone know you sincerely care. Without it you cannot learn what you need to know. Listening allows you to tune in to the concerns, frustrations, emotional changes, and whims of your employees, customers, suppliers, and vendors. It dramatically increases your responsiveness to them and their needs. Genuine listening is a gift of time.
To really listen, you must want to hear the message. Effective listening means not only hearing what people say, but also understanding their intended meaning. This requires much more than merely waiting for someone to finish speaking. Improved listening skills will enhance your interpersonal capabilities, your relationships (personal and professional), all your communications, and your selling and negotiating abilities. It is the keystone of your people skills. In fact, the person who listens with understanding is also the one who eventually is the most listened to.
Like the man who heard the cricket, tune in to those who work with you. You will be amazed at what you’ll learn, and what good listening will accomplish in strengthening relationships and increasing productivity
A few tips:
When you listen, focus more on what is being said than on your response. Too often people just “wait out” the speaker so they can then interject their own opinions.