June is Pride Month, a time when many in the LGBTQ+ community come together to celebrate what Pride means to them individually and as a community across the world. Pride Month is celebrated each year in June to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan.
Pride, for me, has meant different things over the years. To me, Pride means letting love guide you through a sometimes-unfriendly world and seeing others' fears of my community as a reflection of them – and not us. Pride is about having the courage to authentically express yourself – all year long.
For many allies, June can mean a time to reflect, learn about, and support their LGBTQ+ friends and family. Pride is not just a June thing, but it’s really an all-year-long thing to support love and Pride all year long.
Whether subtly or directly, letting a queer person know that you not only see them as they are but also support them is one of the most important things you can do as an ally. Queer people can often be hesitant to “come out” to someone until they can trust that that person is not going to harm them or potentially “out” them to other people until they are ready, especially in a work or professional environment.
Subtle things like wearing a Pride t-shirt, sticking an equality sticker on your car, or making an LGBTQ+ affirming social media post can give queer people clues that you’re on their team and that they can trust you.
Please note that you should not, however, assume someone’s sexual orientation, nor should you ask someone if they are gay/queer/trans. If a queer person wants you to know, they will tell you in their own time.
Pride month hasn’t always looked the way it does today. Pride was first a protest - actually, it was more of a riot. It all started in 1969 in New York City when police raided the Stonewall Inn, a bar that served as a safe haven for the city’s gay, lesbian, and transgender community. At this time, police raids were not uncommon in known gay bars; however, on that night, members of the city’s LGBT community decided to fight back when the police decided to raid the Stonewall Inn, sparking an uprising that would launch a new era of resistance and revolution. Two notable individuals who not only participated in the riots but are rumored to have resisted arrest and thrown the first bottles at police were trans women of color, Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera.
The Stonewall uprising was a tipping point for the Gay Liberation Movement in the U.S. On the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in 1970, the very first Gay Pride parades were held in New York City, followed by similar celebrations in cities including San Francisco, Chicago, and Los Angeles.
Using someone’s correct pronouns shows that you are welcoming of all genders and are respectful of their identity. Pronouns can sometimes be a signifier of someone’s gender identity but not always.
Gender expression and pronouns are, confusingly, not always linked. This is largely because many individuals prefer nonbinary pronouns such as they or them. It’s always best to respectfully ask, “What are your pronouns?” instead of assuming the answer.
In addition to asking for and using someone’s preferred pronouns, help others remember to do so instead of letting all of the work fall onto your LGBTQ+ colleagues. When you use a person’s preferred pronouns all the time - whether they can hear you or not, and when you speak up to correct others who use the wrong pronouns, you aren’t just helping get some words right; you are actively affirming that this individual belongs and deserves to exist as they are.
When it comes to social issues, there has been significant progress over recent years; however, many queer people can still be denied things like housing, jobs, and the ability to adopt a child in certain states. Hate crimes against LGBTQ individuals are still shockingly prevalent across the country. Currently, there has been an epidemic of violent crimes against transgender individuals, particularly trans women of color. Trans women of color are among the most vulnerable minorities in the country, fighting against racism, sexism, transphobia, and, frequently, poverty, putting them at higher risk for violence. Still,16 states across the country do not include gender or sexual identity under their hate crime laws, another 13 states only cover sexual orientation, and many states have no hate crime laws at all.
One of the best ways to show your support during Pride is to attend a Pride event and support LGBTQ+ businesses! Whether it’s a parade, fundraiser, drag show, festival, or private event - it's all about being there. Look for ways that you can demonstrate support and respect for the queer people in your life, and let them know that they can be themselves around you. Being an ally can feel uncomfortable, but this is how progress always looks. Let the LGBTQ+ community know you’re an ally by simply showing up.
Many LGBTQ+-focused organizations are the life support to the communities they serve. Not only do they provide a sense of safety and security, but many also offer programs and services that are vital to the community, such as; STI prevention, testing and treatment, access to culturally competent and affirming healthcare, social and support groups, and housing. About 40% of homeless youth in America identify as LGBTQ and often end up on the streets because their family members reject them. Once there, young gay, lesbian, bi, and trans kids are more likely to face violence, end up in danger or participate in crime, and encounter trauma that can affect their entire lives. A stunning 41% of trans adults have reported attempting suicide, followed by 10% to 20% of LGB adults, according to The Williams Institute. The rate for the rest of the population hovers around 4%.
Organizations like The Trevor Project focus on suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth; they offer a toll-free telephone number where confidential assistance is provided by trained counselors. The goals of the project are to provide crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for youth, as well as to offer guidance and resources to parents and educators in order to foster safe, accepting, and inclusive environments for all youth at home, schools, and colleges.
When you make a gift to an organization that provides these types of services, you are ensuring that these programs and services can continue to grow and serve the people who need them the most.
In the beginning, being an ally can be so frightening that hardly anybody dares. But as more people speak out, the balance starts to shift. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable questions, we answer them. Instead of ignoring injustice, we confront it. Instead of dehumanizing each other, we find common ground. This difficult, painstaking work continues day after day, month after month, year after year. Until, eventually, nobody can imagine doing anything less.